Jasper the sweetest kitty

My Jasper would be a great papa.. lets his younger friend Charcoal and their new tiny little kitty pal eat from his bowl.

Halifax Ghost Walk Tour

pix from the Halifax Ghost Walk, early August 2011, Mr. Str8, and I went with friends.
the spooky figures, (psssst.. dont tell but they are not real, I added them)

Sharing With the Bandits

My other wild friends, the raccoon family from my shed.. so cute.. funny, brazen,

3 of My Fave Chocolate Treats

 Pal-O-Mine made by Ganong, NB, Canada

 made by Rogers

a PEI special treat.. yum.. its perfectly deliciously naughty

Really begining to rethink my life.  I cannot ignore the things that are poisoning me.  Not sure that I can see me with this guy, really, much longer.  I feel the indifference, ebb in waves.  And he still will do and say things that make me feel bad, or worse.  I need to feel good about myself, and to find someone who makes me feel good about myself, without having to wonder what he is saying and doing, without the doubt that he's screwing around, or, even, playing games.  Trust.  I tried to regain after a year, when he cheated with a straight man by trying oral sex.  But he is still not any better.  Its feeling like there is not much left.  I have tried to give everything.  Maybe too much, and lost myself (self-respect) along the way.

Ever wonder about that nagging feeling you get?  That a pile of little things turn into a massive mountain?  And even though you can feel good, it just doesn't seem to be enough?  If you head is telling you to really deal with things, but your heart says to stay with whatever (however small) the love you get, how do you get to process everything?  When do you say enough?

So, not that I don't like or want to go to the gay bar with Str8.  I mean, I used to be there a lot while single.  But, with a couple of xtra pounds, I really don't like to be there.
And there are a few good reasons to make me not so interested.  And for sure, two of them are not really an issue.  It's that I can't relax and enjoy myself.  There is just too much for me to manage. 
So I ll be heading to the bar.  Can only hope it's quiet and without drama.  I suspect it should be.  I do need to get a bit of a work out in, dancing.
So, I will have to micro-manage and try to keep things from getting to the boiling point.  I have decided not to let anything go anymore.  I am determined to keep my own self-respect, above all.
So, I may worry about it, but I know, I will be fine.
And yes, there is history I ll need to share, but for now, just know, I will be THE Diva there.  No matter wat!
That makes me feel better. Hell hath no fury like...

Sometimes I am sure Mr. Str8 thinks he is dating a rave queen from the 80s.

Sometimes I am sure I am dating a teen boy just past puberty in the body of a man in his 40s.

Relationship Question

So, question.

Background: You are a single gay man, in redneck territory, and decide to get a profile on a dating website.  And you meet and chat via email with a guy who lives a few hours away, and never meet, and he flakes off and leaves you hanging.  Then, months later you meet, and end up dating someone else.

Situation: You have really no experiences in the gay world, and commit to someone who knows this.  And, is very set in his ways of being in a relationship. Your BF is very accommodating to your learning curve, even though it bothers him.

Dilemma:  So after 1 and a half years, the guy you were interested in before you meet your BF, adds you to FaceBook.  You don't add him in front of your BF, but rather, on your way home to sleep before work. (As you are in basically a long distance relationship, and only spend a few days at a time with your BF in the city).  So, you go to a family member's house (as you do not have the Internet at home), and add this former suitor.  You don't mention this to your BF, who has to ask you about it, as he saw the news feed update 10 hours later on his own FB profile.  And, you don't even make an effort to communicate with him.
Until one night, while online, you chat him on FB, while your BF is making dinner 2 feet from you.
And be completely blase about it.

Question: So, as the BF, how would this make you feel?  Do you let it go, as you know that this other guy is suppose to be in relationship?  Do you open dialogue, to find out how your BF is feeling-as in, what motivation he had to not just add him, but to finally chat him up?  If you were the BF who did this, would you 1-have even added this other guy? 2-after 2 years of no contact, randomly say hi? 

Anyone, feel free to comment, reply, answer, give opinion. 
Interested in hearing feedback.
Thanks.

Shit My Boyfriend Says

“Why don’t you get black ones.  Red pumps make you look like a hooker.”  
(To his teenage daughter shopping for high heels)