therealbryon2: funny

Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Wednesday, 14 September 2011

Sometimes I am sure Mr. Str8 thinks he is dating a rave queen from the 80s.

Sometimes I am sure I am dating a teen boy just past puberty in the body of a man in his 40s.

Fave 'I Love Lucy' photos

I love 'I Love Lucy"

Battle of the Quotes: Str8 vs. Diva

1) ME: “Ah, hello?! Breakfast is ready. Eat it cold if you want, watev.”     VS.
MR. STR8: “Are you not ready yet?! You’re gonna miss your bus. Put the computer down!”

2) ME: “Wow. Really? Must of had a good day on the video game, conquering the universe. Guess dinner is gonna be late..since I have to clean the sink full of dishes sitting here.”     VS.
MR. STR8: “Thought you said you cleaned up the house? Looks the same as when I left- 4 days ago!”

3) ME: “Wow Honey, we had 8 litres of ice cream!”     MR.STR8: “I left you some.”     ME: “What? 8 tablespoons?!”    VS.
MR. STR8: “What do you mean you ate a whole loaf of bread in 3 days? And no, I am not going to eat your stale crackers instead of toast!”

A Str8 Morning

As per events of the morning, I thought I would share some of the mad-capped moments we have, and sometimes spill in front of others. Poor Carlie, she is one of the few subjected to the madness that is Mr. Str8 and I.
As customary on most mornings I work, while Str8 is on his days off, I tease him before getting out of bed to make breakfast. And he usually ends up on his PlayStation 2 while waiting to eat. I putter around, on the computer, and usually do something crazy and funny to get him to laugh. This morning, I pounced on him while playing his game, and rubbed him all over his shirt. I added a funny voice and told him he was too sexy. He laughs and calls me a fool and asks if breakfast is ready. I giggle and get back to the food.
I admit I am as addicted to my laptop as he is to his PS2. I didn’t really think about the similarities, until later on.
The other part of the mornings, is usually the drive to the bus terminal. Most days when Str8 is here, we drive in with Carlie. Some days, she ll pick me up. So we entertain her, and today was no different. As I suspected, he launched into the replay of this morning, and having to push me out the door.
“And trying to get this one ready in the mornings, is like pulling teeth…” He says.
“…Really sexy teeth…” I interject.
“He can’t put down his laptop. It’s like she’s having an affair!” (He sometimes uses She instead of He).
“And your video game isn’t like your other slut eh?” I shoot back. I glance to wink at Carlie, who is smiling.
“Well, at least I have fun with it. It works.”
“Really? And I don’t have fun with Sully?” (I named my computer Sully)
“Look, your bus is here.”
“You are some lucky our bus is here! Just go home and have fun with your slut.”
“Thank you. I will.”
“Kiss me ‘bye you cheatin gamer.”
“It’s like love/hate with you guys!” Carlie says, laughing.
“Oh, if you only knew how much love/hate…” I josh, winking at her and hurriedly kissed Str8.

Wednesday, 7 September 2011

Str8 Key Incident in Anime

On the bus, after work, with Carlie, I texted Mr. Str8.
I mentioned about some sort of accident on the bridge. He asked about it, while getting ready to go visit Chy (his daughter). He left the house, and went to his car.

This is the text I got: “Fuck! I just locked the fucking keys in the house”

I was concerned. For about 5 seconds. I started to laugh, choking and tearing, and trying to breathe. I could not even try to talk, as Carlie was laughing with me.

“Your awful.” Carlie declared. “You are too funny! You make me laugh!”

“I feel bad, but man! (giggling) “OMF! I can see him now, like an anime cartoon, short and stubby, jumping up and down angry! With little x’s for his eyes, and tears! And fists and mouth open screaming swear words!” I was hurting from the hysterical fit of laughter.
“oh that is so funny!” Carlie was also trying to calm down, from the convulsions of laughter, as she could picture this image in my head.

It is a strange world in my head. Not fit for public viewing, I am sure. Oh yes… Mr. Str8 lives in walking distance to his landlord. So a spare key got him back on track. All’s well that ends well then.

The Big Daddy Incident

Ok. At work. About 2hrs left for the end of the day. Hungry. So, wandered into the lunch room to check out the vending machine.
After a moment of debate, I settled on, what I thought was the best choice. An over sized cookie. As opposed to a chocolate bar. Or bag of crips.
I removed the the large cookie, only to wonder if indeed I made the correct choice.

Picture it. Vending machine. Holding a cookie, pretty much the size of my hand. The cover reads: soft & tasty. Big Daddy cookie. (As well, I read 'chocolate chunks' and 'omega-3')
I am holding the cookie, and am perplexed. I read the label. However, squishing the packaged cookie, I really don't feel it as being soft.

So I promptly took it, to one friend after another, along the way back to my desk. Doing my schtick.

So, the package says that Big Daddy is soft. And tasty. OK. but hitting the over sized cookie on the desk, pretty much is the same as doing it with a brick. So, Big Daddy cookie is not so soft, but hard. A big hard Big Daddy cookie. Now I really must see if Big Daddy is tasty.
So with the encouragement of a co-worker, who asked if I was going to see just how hard my Big Daddy cookie was, by putting it in my mouth.....

C-W "So Is your Big Daddy really hard?"
ME   "Hard enough"
C-W "Is Big Daddy tasty?"
ME   "Oh so tasty.. it really is big and thick. My Big Daddy really is a mouthful"
C-W "So do you like your Big Daddy"
ME   "Oh yes very tasty. Very filling. I don't know if I can finish Big Daddy off"
C-W "Well, now that you started, you really should eat all of Big Daddy"
ME   "It's so hefty. I guess it is true. Even though Big Daddy is solid, it really is soft and tasty"

........so I pretty much violated any and all HR polices with this one! YES!!